If you are cast, by fate or by personal conviction, to become a leader or a mentor of a person (occasionally a dear friend) or of a team or organization, your ultimate prospects, especially if you are successful, are quite predictable, each framed with frightful irony:
1) You will become resented, or seen as an enemy, by those whom you've helped. You will feel isolated and lonely. You will feel a longing for someone better or wiser than yourself to confide in, or to guide you;
2) You will be cast aside, as your charges no longer feel that they need you, or if their skills, honed by your diligent efforts, come to surpass yours. You will feel obsolete, vestigial and minimized -- and, sadly, your sense of achievement will not outshadow this feeling of being exiled by your own tribe;
3) Your experience will harden your heart, and you will find yourself leaning toward an atavistic indifference to your best qualities of empathy and of the ability to love. If you do not eventually develop sociopathic tendencies, you may find yourself lloking at members of your own species as "cases," "diagnoses," "challenges," or "prospects," instead of as individuals.
Yes -- this world needs more leaders, mentors and trainers. It is also true that as our society becomes increasingly dysfunctional because of inculcated selfishness and declining educational stndards, the need for leaders, mentors, trainers, coaches and teachers becomes more pressing.
Just be advised that leadership, if it is not egocentric opportunism, may require Tough Love. And be further advised that Tough Love can be tougher on the teacher than the pupil... and tougher on the leader or commander than on those in his or her charge.
If circumstances or a compelling need to change the world (or a small part of the world) should find you in the position of leader or mentor, you must heed the calling and do your very best. But a true leader or mentor will incur profound internal casualties in the process of leading or mentoring.
You cannot be weak and hope to serve others as a leader or a mentor. You must become a tower of strength to accomplish the work required, and to bear the pain that is an integral part of your success.
Faithfully,
Douglas E Castle
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